I dropped a chain...

...turns out it was a chain I didn't even know I was carrying. I was forced to face a very difficult situation five years ago. It involved a fellow church member, and left me with so many different emotions. We left the church, I thought I'd moved on, and I haven't seen her since.

Within the last month, I had a conversation with a friend where the situation came up and I actually spoke these words, "I honestly don't know what I'd do if I saw her." Since that conversation she's actually popped into my mind a few times.

Apparently God was prepping me...

Last Saturday, I was in line for the bathroom in Target, and as I stood there she walked out of the stall. Instantly, and I mean instantly, anger, hatred, bitterness and resentment flooded me from head to toe. I could hardly contain myself. I actually had time to think to myself, "talk to her? don't talk to her? make eye contact? or not?". Then she left.

As I walked around Target trying to access where in the world all this came from, I just couldn't get past the anger. I didn't even know I was carrying it. I didn't know it was in me. I was completely livid.

Yet, in the midst of my emotions, I could hear Him say, "let it go --- you weren't in the wrong back then, but you're in the wrong now." I stuffed it down inside. I didn't have time to deal with it. I was busy. But it kept creeping back in my thoughts.

Sunday morning, while the band was going through our set, we got to the medley of Sanctified and Cannot Say Enough. It was almost like a bubble formed around me. I forgot all about the band being there. I didn't hear the guitarists talking. I didn't hear the soundguys in the back. It was just me and God, and all I could do was worship... and let it go. Moments like that are amazing. Almost as if time is standing still, and you can feel His presence wrapped all around you. And so my favorite line in that song actually happened, right then and there.... we worship with the sound of broken shackles falling to the ground.